I always get discouraged whenever I leave the stories in the Book of Joshua and start reading the Book of Judges. Under the strong and sanctified leadership of Joshua the people had hope of a glorious future. But when Joshua died, Israel did not continue after the pattern of conquest that he set for them.
Soon the phrase "and the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord" becomes the byword for Judges. I find it depressing.
The Lord was faithful, even though His chosen people were not. He sent judges to call the people back to true worship.
The third judge that ruled in Israel was Deborah, "a mother in Israel". This remarkable woman accompanied Israel's captain into battle - he refused to go without her. She was a woman of compassion, strength, and faith. "My heart is toward the governors of Israel, that offered themselves willingly among the people," she said (Judges 5:9).
May God make more of us like Deborah - true to Him, courageous to lead our families in the way that is right, faithful prayer warriors.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Connect and Re-Direct
Hold On To Your Kids
My husband read Gordon Neufeld’s book Hold On To Your Kids and has shared parts of it with me. Neufeld stresses that the key to effective discipline lies in the strength of the parent-child bond. For this reason, he is critical of our obsession with time-outs as a discipline option. Neufeld contends that time-outs only fracture and strain the parent-child relationship, leading to resentment and bitterness in the child.
Connect and Redirect
I’m inclined to agree with his reasoning. He recommends a different approach. He says parents need to connect with their children first, by matter-of-factly commenting on what they’re doing, then redirecting the child.
That seems reasonable to me. Rather than attacking our children when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, it makes sense to gently acknowledge a child and redirect when possible. I thought I should give it a try. Instead of jumping to conclusions and jumping all over my child, I decided I would connect and then redirect.
A Chance to Try it Out
This morning, five-year old Joshua came to show me something while I was working with his older, easily distracted brother, Samuel. I reminded Joshua that I was working with Samuel and asked him to please wait till I was finished before he returned the books that he borrowed from us.
Three minutes later, Joshua was back with a messy pile of books spilling from his arms. Impatiently I said, “I told you to wait with those!” Joshua’s countenance fell. He turned a quietly went away. I felt so horrible.
More of God's Grace Needed
What comes naturally, impatience, anger, selfishness, etc. is just so easy. Cultivating the fruits of the Spirit takes real diligence and a constant connection with Christ. We need His grace and power moment by moment. We can only share with our children what we ourselves possess.
I apologized to Joshua. Tomorrow is another day. By God’s grace we’ll grow to be more like Him.
My husband read Gordon Neufeld’s book Hold On To Your Kids and has shared parts of it with me. Neufeld stresses that the key to effective discipline lies in the strength of the parent-child bond. For this reason, he is critical of our obsession with time-outs as a discipline option. Neufeld contends that time-outs only fracture and strain the parent-child relationship, leading to resentment and bitterness in the child.
Connect and Redirect
I’m inclined to agree with his reasoning. He recommends a different approach. He says parents need to connect with their children first, by matter-of-factly commenting on what they’re doing, then redirecting the child.
That seems reasonable to me. Rather than attacking our children when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, it makes sense to gently acknowledge a child and redirect when possible. I thought I should give it a try. Instead of jumping to conclusions and jumping all over my child, I decided I would connect and then redirect.
A Chance to Try it Out
This morning, five-year old Joshua came to show me something while I was working with his older, easily distracted brother, Samuel. I reminded Joshua that I was working with Samuel and asked him to please wait till I was finished before he returned the books that he borrowed from us.
Three minutes later, Joshua was back with a messy pile of books spilling from his arms. Impatiently I said, “I told you to wait with those!” Joshua’s countenance fell. He turned a quietly went away. I felt so horrible.
More of God's Grace Needed
What comes naturally, impatience, anger, selfishness, etc. is just so easy. Cultivating the fruits of the Spirit takes real diligence and a constant connection with Christ. We need His grace and power moment by moment. We can only share with our children what we ourselves possess.
I apologized to Joshua. Tomorrow is another day. By God’s grace we’ll grow to be more like Him.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Parenting By The Spirit
What a blessing it's been to turn the hearts of our children to the Lord Jesus. After listening to Jim and Sally Hohnberger and reading their books, I've been trying to apply what I learned when disciplining our children. It's had a remarkable affect.
The Fruits of the Spirit
First of all I explained to the children that when self is in control we're selfish, impatient, easily angered, but when Jesus is in control we are patient, thoughtful of others and calm. You should have seen the look on five-year old Joshua's face as he took that bit of information in! It really gave him something to think about.
Christian Discipline
It's a wonder to me that there isn't more emphasis put on practical Christian living. This kind of disciplining doesn't come naturally. Of course we want Jesus to be in charge of our lives. Do we understand how that happens, though?
Surrendering the Will to Christ
Making a moment-by-moment surrender of our wills to His is how we dethrone self and make Jesus our Lord and Master. We need to teach this to our children.
Letting Jesus Take Control
In our morning prayers we've been praying that Jesus would be in control of us. When selfishness and stubborness have asserted themselves, I've been saying, "Who's in charge right now? If Jesus were in charge, you wouldn't be feeling angry. Ask Jesus to take control of this situation." The children have been responding to this in a really positive way. I'm seeing them make that surrender to Christ and it's got me rejoicing!
Turning the Hearts of the Children to Their Parents
It's been an amazing and awesome week. I see the work of God in my children and in my life. Praise the Lord! He is wonderful. He loves us and wants to know us and our children!
The Fruits of the Spirit
First of all I explained to the children that when self is in control we're selfish, impatient, easily angered, but when Jesus is in control we are patient, thoughtful of others and calm. You should have seen the look on five-year old Joshua's face as he took that bit of information in! It really gave him something to think about.
Christian Discipline
It's a wonder to me that there isn't more emphasis put on practical Christian living. This kind of disciplining doesn't come naturally. Of course we want Jesus to be in charge of our lives. Do we understand how that happens, though?
Surrendering the Will to Christ
Making a moment-by-moment surrender of our wills to His is how we dethrone self and make Jesus our Lord and Master. We need to teach this to our children.
Letting Jesus Take Control
In our morning prayers we've been praying that Jesus would be in control of us. When selfishness and stubborness have asserted themselves, I've been saying, "Who's in charge right now? If Jesus were in charge, you wouldn't be feeling angry. Ask Jesus to take control of this situation." The children have been responding to this in a really positive way. I'm seeing them make that surrender to Christ and it's got me rejoicing!
Turning the Hearts of the Children to Their Parents
It's been an amazing and awesome week. I see the work of God in my children and in my life. Praise the Lord! He is wonderful. He loves us and wants to know us and our children!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A Weekend with the Hohnbergers
We just got home from a wonderful weekend with Jim and Sally Hohnberger. Jim Hohnberger is the author of a number of books on Christian living. His first book, Escape to God, describes their family's escape from the rat race of materialistic living to a closer walk with God in a remote mountain home. My husband and I read the book together. It's a wonderful book that made us long for a closer connection with God ourselves.
Parenting By the Spirit
Sally has written a number of books also and has messges on tape that we've listened to. There's a series of books on parenting children. I recently bought Parenting By the Spirit. If you're tired of losing your patience and want to learn how to direct your children to their loving Heavenly Father, you must read this book.
Man Managed or God Governed?
Over the course of the weekend, Jim shared how he had gone from being "man managed" to "God governed". Inclined to anger and overwork, he shared with us how God changed him into a loving, attentive, patient father and husband. The college students in the pew in front of me gushed and "a-a-a-hed" when he called Sally his queen!
Unshakeable Faith
Sally spoke to us about how God changed her from a softy, push-over, to a strong, secure woman with unshakeable faith in Christ. Sally shared that she had been terrified of bears when they first moved out to the mountains. But that changed when she learned to walk with God and really trust Him.
The Hohnbergers shared photos of their family visiting with bears (very close!) and deer in their back yard.
Walking With God as Enoch Did
The weekend was incredibly inspirational. I do believe we can teach our children to trust God and know Him as Enoch did. I saw proof in the Hohnbergers that that kind of relationship really is possible. I believe that's the kind of relationship God wants us all to have with Him.
For more info about the Hohnbergers and their ministry, visit: http://www.empoweredlivingministries.org/
Parenting By the Spirit
Sally has written a number of books also and has messges on tape that we've listened to. There's a series of books on parenting children. I recently bought Parenting By the Spirit. If you're tired of losing your patience and want to learn how to direct your children to their loving Heavenly Father, you must read this book.
Man Managed or God Governed?
Over the course of the weekend, Jim shared how he had gone from being "man managed" to "God governed". Inclined to anger and overwork, he shared with us how God changed him into a loving, attentive, patient father and husband. The college students in the pew in front of me gushed and "a-a-a-hed" when he called Sally his queen!
Unshakeable Faith
Sally spoke to us about how God changed her from a softy, push-over, to a strong, secure woman with unshakeable faith in Christ. Sally shared that she had been terrified of bears when they first moved out to the mountains. But that changed when she learned to walk with God and really trust Him.
The Hohnbergers shared photos of their family visiting with bears (very close!) and deer in their back yard.
Walking With God as Enoch Did
The weekend was incredibly inspirational. I do believe we can teach our children to trust God and know Him as Enoch did. I saw proof in the Hohnbergers that that kind of relationship really is possible. I believe that's the kind of relationship God wants us all to have with Him.
For more info about the Hohnbergers and their ministry, visit: http://www.empoweredlivingministries.org/
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Praying for Our Children
Having support is so important when you're trying to raise children. We had a visit with friends today and talked about the challenges of parenting our children. It can be a struggle at times trying to strike a balance between firmness and gentleness.
Discipling Our Children in Christ
My friend talked about the importance of praying with our children always. Discipline is about discipling our children in Christ. Our children need to hear us pray for them and ourselves. They need to see that we need Jesus as much as they do. Teaching them to submit their wills to Christ is something they will learn from observing us do the same.
Praying for Our ChildrenMy friend described a struggle she had with her son. She wanted him to settle down but he was lacking self-control. In exasperation, she sent him to his room and told him not to come out till he was ready to comply. After a time, he called her and asked her to kneel with him. Then her dear son, all of seven years old, prayed for her. He prayed that God would soften his mother's heart and show her that she had been too harsh. Praise the Lord! She apologized through tears.
Raising Christ-Like Kids
If we want to raise compassionate, Christ-like children, we must teach them to pray by praying with them and for them. Then, they will recognize when we need them to pray for us. If we want our children to respond to the Holy Spirit, we must respond to the Spirit's working upon our own hearts.
Discipling Our Children in Christ
My friend talked about the importance of praying with our children always. Discipline is about discipling our children in Christ. Our children need to hear us pray for them and ourselves. They need to see that we need Jesus as much as they do. Teaching them to submit their wills to Christ is something they will learn from observing us do the same.
Praying for Our ChildrenMy friend described a struggle she had with her son. She wanted him to settle down but he was lacking self-control. In exasperation, she sent him to his room and told him not to come out till he was ready to comply. After a time, he called her and asked her to kneel with him. Then her dear son, all of seven years old, prayed for her. He prayed that God would soften his mother's heart and show her that she had been too harsh. Praise the Lord! She apologized through tears.
Raising Christ-Like Kids
If we want to raise compassionate, Christ-like children, we must teach them to pray by praying with them and for them. Then, they will recognize when we need them to pray for us. If we want our children to respond to the Holy Spirit, we must respond to the Spirit's working upon our own hearts.
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