Bible Parenting

2009 AHEA Convention

2009-04-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, as homeschooling parents, we feel pretty isolated and alone. Closing the doors on the rest of the world while we do our little school thing at home is pretty "different" from the "norm" after all. So it's always nice to meet with other homeschoolers from time to time and we always look forward to the AHEA convention.

Over 1000 Homeschool Paricipants Gather for AHEA Convention
The AHEA (Alberta Home Education Association) convention was held in Red Deer, April 17 and 18. What a great event! There were over 1000 parents present - wonderful to see so many dads and grandparents in attendance!

Keynote Address a Show Stopper
The keynote speaker was Kevin Swanson, a home educated homeschool activitist. Kevin's keynote address was both hysterically funny and encouraging at the same time. After warming us up with his hilarious "I can't do this anymore" antics, he confirmed what most of us already know: homeschooling is no easy task. It's a big responsibility and has its share of frustrations for both parents and kids. But in the end, committed homeschoolers know intuitively that it's still the best thing for our kids.

Why We Do What We Do
Kevin listed all the reasons why home educated kids have an advantage over schooled children and backed up his points with research. As it turns out, the relationship we develop with our children is critical to their academic success (not to mention social/emotional success, as well).
Simply put, kids who stay home with their parents during the formative years do better in life. Period.

Support For Homeschoolers
It was great to hear about the research that bears this out. It was also terrifically encouraging to hear that others go through the same frustrations and difficulties that we do. It's nice to know we're not alone.

What are You Doing Here?

2009-04-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

In family devotions this morning, we talked about the story of Elijah when he ran away from wicked Queen Jezebel. He was hiding in a cave when God called him. "What doest thou here, Elijah?", asked the Lord. 1 Kings 19:9

We talked about how God communicated with Elijah. It was obvious to our children that Elijah was not where God wanted him to be. God did not send him to the cave to hide. He really should have had faith and waited upon the Lord. Elijah had made a mistake in running away.

But God did not try to destroy him by using the wind to throw the rocks around. God didn't want to rattle Elijah's bones done the mountain side with the earthquake that came next. And it was not God's intention to incinerate him in the fire that followed.

God wanted Elijah to hear His voice even when He whispered. God wants us to hear Him even when He whispers, too.

And He wants us to consider two things throughout our day.

What are we doing?
Where are we?

The children were reminded to listen for God's whispering voice and to remember what God wants us to be doing (His will), and where He wants us to be (with Him).

Elijah's experience with God on the mountainside has a bearing on our walk with God.

Untiring Effort to Curb Rebellion

2009-04-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

King David was once called by God "a man after my own heart". David had so many good qualities. He was a man of high integrity, loved the truth, was unswayed by wealth and power, and championed the cause of the poor and underprivileged.

And yet, David did not command his household after him as Abraham had done. He favoured his sons and did not reign them in. He did not act decisively when Amnon raped his half-sister. In fact David did nothing about it, so that Absalom (Tamar's full brother) felt compelled to take justice into his own hands.

David vacillated in his treatment toward the murderous, manipulative Absalom. David allowed Absalom's rebellious heart to thrive without correction. Then one day Absalom drove David from his throne in Jerusalem in open rebellion. Even then, David failed to see that he had allowed evil to reign in the heart of his son. Rather than deal decisively with him he slunk away in the night.

Our children are born with rebellion in their hearts. Unless we take them continually in prayer to Jesus for His protection and leading in their lives, our children will continue to be preyed upon by the enemy of our souls.

We need to teach them to humble their hearts and let Jesus rule in them through acts of kindness and love otherwise their selfish natures will control them and like Absalom, they will rebel against the very ones who love them most.

This requires an unceasing effort on the part of parents through prayer, entreaty, and correction. But our diligent, untiring efforts for our children when seen from the perspective of heaven will seem well worth it, though it may be difficult now.

Strength and Power

2009-03-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;

That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;

Strengthened will all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;

Giving thanks unto the Father…”

Colossians 1:9 – 12

These are the words that Paul wrote to the new believers in Colosse. I read this passage to our children the other morning during devotions. We talked about God’s great power and how He wants to share that power with us to strengthen us not according to the kind of power and strength that the world recognizes, but to give us strength to “walk worthy of the Lord”.

We’ve been talking about “patience and longsuffering with joyfulness” and what that looks like in our lives. Rather than complaining, we can be thankful; rather than being impatient, we can be patient when we are strengthened with God’s glorious power to resist sin in our lives.

Together, we are learning to run to Jesus moment by moment when temptation comes. He has power to make us like Him.

I'M RIGHT! I'M RIGHT! I'M RIGHT!!!!!!!

2009-03-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

I talked with a friend from a church we used to attend some years ago. She told me the sad news that church members are squabbling over doctrinal issues ... in church!

Fighting in Church?
I just don't get it. Christ said people would recognize Christians by their love for one another. So how can two groups within the church fight over anything?!

To me it doesn't matter how right your doctrine is, if you use force, coercion, intimidation, etc. to convince others of your "right" and "correct" position... YOU'RE STILL WRONG!!!

Parents' Greatest Gift
Which brings me to this point: Parents, the greatest gift you can give your children, is a loving home in which to grow up in. Turn your pride over to Christ and learn what unconditional love is - in your home, first. Then practise Christian love outside the home at church, at work, in the grocery store parking lot, etc. Who ever said following Christ's example was going to be easy?

If people are fighting in church, what are they doing in their own homes, behind closed doors, when their wills are crossed??? Poor kids!

A Mother in Israel

2009-02-26T20:42:00.001-08:00

I always get discouraged whenever I leave the stories in the Book of Joshua and start reading the Book of Judges. Under the strong and sanctified leadership of Joshua the people had hope of a glorious future. But when Joshua died, Israel did not continue after the pattern of conquest that he set for them.

Soon the phrase "and the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord" becomes the byword for Judges. I find it depressing.

The Lord was faithful, even though His chosen people were not. He sent judges to call the people back to true worship.

The third judge that ruled in Israel was Deborah, "a mother in Israel". This remarkable woman accompanied Israel's captain into battle - he refused to go without her. She was a woman of compassion, strength, and faith. "My heart is toward the governors of Israel, that offered themselves willingly among the people," she said (Judges 5:9).

May God make more of us like Deborah - true to Him, courageous to lead our families in the way that is right, faithful prayer warriors.

Connect and Re-Direct

2009-02-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

Hold On To Your Kids
My husband read Gordon Neufeld’s book Hold On To Your Kids and has shared parts of it with me. Neufeld stresses that the key to effective discipline lies in the strength of the parent-child bond. For this reason, he is critical of our obsession with time-outs as a discipline option. Neufeld contends that time-outs only fracture and strain the parent-child relationship, leading to resentment and bitterness in the child.

Connect and Redirect
I’m inclined to agree with his reasoning. He recommends a different approach. He says parents need to connect with their children first, by matter-of-factly commenting on what they’re doing, then redirecting the child.

That seems reasonable to me. Rather than attacking our children when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, it makes sense to gently acknowledge a child and redirect when possible. I thought I should give it a try. Instead of jumping to conclusions and jumping all over my child, I decided I would connect and then redirect.

A Chance to Try it Out
This morning, five-year old Joshua came to show me something while I was working with his older, easily distracted brother, Samuel. I reminded Joshua that I was working with Samuel and asked him to please wait till I was finished before he returned the books that he borrowed from us.

Three minutes later, Joshua was back with a messy pile of books spilling from his arms. Impatiently I said, “I told you to wait with those!” Joshua’s countenance fell. He turned a quietly went away. I felt so horrible.

More of God's Grace Needed
What comes naturally, impatience, anger, selfishness, etc. is just so easy. Cultivating the fruits of the Spirit takes real diligence and a constant connection with Christ. We need His grace and power moment by moment. We can only share with our children what we ourselves possess.
I apologized to Joshua. Tomorrow is another day. By God’s grace we’ll grow to be more like Him.

Parenting By The Spirit

2009-02-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

What a blessing it's been to turn the hearts of our children to the Lord Jesus. After listening to Jim and Sally Hohnberger and reading their books, I've been trying to apply what I learned when disciplining our children. It's had a remarkable affect.

The Fruits of the Spirit
First of all I explained to the children that when self is in control we're selfish, impatient, easily angered, but when Jesus is in control we are patient, thoughtful of others and calm. You should have seen the look on five-year old Joshua's face as he took that bit of information in! It really gave him something to think about.

Christian Discipline
It's a wonder to me that there isn't more emphasis put on practical Christian living. This kind of disciplining doesn't come naturally. Of course we want Jesus to be in charge of our lives. Do we understand how that happens, though?

Surrendering the Will to Christ
Making a moment-by-moment surrender of our wills to His is how we dethrone self and make Jesus our Lord and Master. We need to teach this to our children.

Letting Jesus Take Control
In our morning prayers we've been praying that Jesus would be in control of us. When selfishness and stubborness have asserted themselves, I've been saying, "Who's in charge right now? If Jesus were in charge, you wouldn't be feeling angry. Ask Jesus to take control of this situation." The children have been responding to this in a really positive way. I'm seeing them make that surrender to Christ and it's got me rejoicing!

Turning the Hearts of the Children to Their Parents
It's been an amazing and awesome week. I see the work of God in my children and in my life. Praise the Lord! He is wonderful. He loves us and wants to know us and our children!

A Weekend with the Hohnbergers

2009-02-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

We just got home from a wonderful weekend with Jim and Sally Hohnberger. Jim Hohnberger is the author of a number of books on Christian living. His first book, Escape to God, describes their family's escape from the rat race of materialistic living to a closer walk with God in a remote mountain home. My husband and I read the book together. It's a wonderful book that made us long for a closer connection with God ourselves.

Parenting By the Spirit
Sally has written a number of books also and has messges on tape that we've listened to. There's a series of books on parenting children. I recently bought Parenting By the Spirit. If you're tired of losing your patience and want to learn how to direct your children to their loving Heavenly Father, you must read this book.

Man Managed or God Governed?
Over the course of the weekend, Jim shared how he had gone from being "man managed" to "God governed". Inclined to anger and overwork, he shared with us how God changed him into a loving, attentive, patient father and husband. The college students in the pew in front of me gushed and "a-a-a-hed" when he called Sally his queen!

Unshakeable Faith
Sally spoke to us about how God changed her from a softy, push-over, to a strong, secure woman with unshakeable faith in Christ. Sally shared that she had been terrified of bears when they first moved out to the mountains. But that changed when she learned to walk with God and really trust Him.

The Hohnbergers shared photos of their family visiting with bears (very close!) and deer in their back yard.

Walking With God as Enoch Did
The weekend was incredibly inspirational. I do believe we can teach our children to trust God and know Him as Enoch did. I saw proof in the Hohnbergers that that kind of relationship really is possible. I believe that's the kind of relationship God wants us all to have with Him.

For more info about the Hohnbergers and their ministry, visit: http://www.empoweredlivingministries.org/

Praying for Our Children

2009-02-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Having support is so important when you're trying to raise children. We had a visit with friends today and talked about the challenges of parenting our children. It can be a struggle at times trying to strike a balance between firmness and gentleness.

Discipling Our Children in Christ
My friend talked about the importance of praying with our children always. Discipline is about discipling our children in Christ. Our children need to hear us pray for them and ourselves. They need to see that we need Jesus as much as they do. Teaching them to submit their wills to Christ is something they will learn from observing us do the same.

Praying for Our ChildrenMy friend described a struggle she had with her son. She wanted him to settle down but he was lacking self-control. In exasperation, she sent him to his room and told him not to come out till he was ready to comply. After a time, he called her and asked her to kneel with him. Then her dear son, all of seven years old, prayed for her. He prayed that God would soften his mother's heart and show her that she had been too harsh. Praise the Lord! She apologized through tears.

Raising Christ-Like Kids
If we want to raise compassionate, Christ-like children, we must teach them to pray by praying with them and for them. Then, they will recognize when we need them to pray for us. If we want our children to respond to the Holy Spirit, we must respond to the Spirit's working upon our own hearts.

Facing Economic Uncertainty Without Fear

2009-01-29T19:52:00.000-08:00

Facing Hard Times
Some parents are facing hard economic times. Whenever parents are stressed, the kids are bound to feel it and share that stress to some degree, too.

Horrible Headlines
The news headlines lately have been terrible: out-of-work parents commit suicide after killing their own children. Makes you wonder how people could be so desperate.

Grounded in Faith
The best way to face a crisis of any kind (including job loss and economic uncertainty), is to have a firm grounding in faith. If our values are skewed when a crisis hits, we're bound to respond badly to the crisis. If you're facing economic uncertainty, it's time to assess your values and renew your faith. People who measure their self-worth by the things they possess and the income they earn won't do well when those things are taken away from them.

We need to trust in the Lord and value what He values, lay up our treasures in Heaven and teach our children to do the same.

"You cannot serve God and mammon. Therfore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6:24, 25

"Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Mt. 6: 31-33

We may face economic uncertainty without fear by the grace of God. There is no fear where faith is and God can supply even that.

Tammie

Entertainment's Great Compromise

2009-01-24T19:27:00.000-08:00

"I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me." Psalm 101:2,3

The Bible clearly states a number of principles that help Christians to walk in oneness with their Lord. One of these principles is: By beholding, we are changed. (That's from 2 Corinthians 3:18.)

I'm always surprised when I hear a pastor or minister standing in the pulpit, quoting characters from a Hollywood movie, in which there are adulterous scenes, blasphemous words spoken, and vice of every kind portrayed. What business do we as Christians have watching sin? How can viewing sin improve us? How does indulging, even vicariously, in sin fit our soul temples for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?

It's unfortunate, but many of us grew up watching too much TV and we're addicted. We've passed this addiction onto our children. The sad truth is, that the entertainment industry has become filthier and filthier. What our children are now exposed to through television and the internet is far more evil than what most of us were exposed to as children.

If we want our children to yearn for heaven, we need to help them fill their minds with heavenly things. That may require drastic measures to curtail the evil influence of media in our homes. But we are at war, afterall. What's at stake are our very souls and the souls of our children.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.

May God bless you as you courageously seek to shepherd your precious flock.

Tammie

The New Universal Babysitter

2009-01-21T12:59:00.000-08:00

My husband was talking to me about the awful statistics on media addictions in kids. Recently in the news a teen boy was found dead after being missing for several days. He'd had a falling out with his parents who were concerned about his online gaming.

Are games taking over our kids' lives? I'm amazed at how young children are when they are first exposed to computer games. Why do we think it's so necessary for 3 year olds to know how to play computer games? Oh yeah, we call it "educational" as if that's some kind of holy word. If it's "educational" then it's okay, even beneficial.

I don't believe it. Very young children are stuck in front of video screens because they're playing learning games. Then when they're teens we wonder why that's all they want to do. It used to be that TV was the "universal babysitter". Now, the video screen has taken over that role. The earlier a child can learn to manage the mouse, the better. After all, they're not just watching TV. They're "learning"!

What do you do to manage your children's exposure to internet, video, and other electronic media? I'd like to know.

Tammie